Living Alone in Japan (一人暮らし): finding an apartment

January 31, 2016
It's been about a month now that I've been living in my very own apartment in Japan, and I'd like to check in to tell you how the experience has been thus far.

First off, the good news is: the search process here is far more structured than what I'm used to in the States. I've lived in a lot of places in the US (admittedly most of them shared with others), and I've never experienced a process like this.

The Searching Process
Craigslist does exist here, but it's by no means as popular. Even share houses (living spaces you share with others) don't appear here so much (Gaijin Pot, for example, is a better resource for this). For the most part, you go into a real estate agency. They'll have ads posted outside with prices, floor plans, photos, etc. for many of their available units, so you can already shop a bit without having to go in. First off, every apartment advertisement you'll see anywhere has a floor plan with measurements. Amazing. Very helpful and makes it a lot easier to compare. Most other pertinent information tends to be standard, like what year the building was built, how many minutes to the nearest bus or train station, what amenities/utilities are included, what fees there are, etc.
Side note for women here: though many of us from the Western hemisphere tend to balk at Japan's distinct differences from our own places of origin in regards to gender equality, one advantage in Japan's favor is that they have buildings just for women (this will be stated in the ad), and it's also perfectly acceptable to ask the real estate agent/whomever if men/women are living in the building if that makes you feel more comfortable.
Fees
Japan has a ton of fees we just don't have anything like in the States. There are "key fees," fees I imagine are to change the locks after a tenant leaves, fees for the management staff, for keeping the building clean, for fire inspection, for insurance, for moving out before a certain amount of time has elapsed, and some just have no explanation. The pro tip here is to read the entire ad very carefully and always do the math when you're in your search. Some places will appear so cheap, but once you add it all up, they can be much more expensive than the places you thought you could do better than. Of course, agents are very helpful in this way.

What happens when you enter a real estate office?
Once inside the real estate office, an agent will sit down with you and you get hot tea, usually. I went to three or four different companies, and they were all like this. They'll ask you a variety of standard questions like your preferred price range, neighborhoods, etc., and then bring out a few or several information sheets on apartments they have available to see what you think. Directly from this information session, usually (or else they'll schedule you for another time), the agent will take you out in the company car to each place, where they'll show you around.

Foreigners as tenants: will you be rejected?
If they don't take the initiative, please make sure that they ask landlords if it's okay for a foreigner to be a tenant. I don't know how things are in Tokyo or other places where there are many more foreigners than here in Osaka (particularly compared to my city within the prefecture), but many landlords simply do not want foreigners to stay in their building. I'll take a brief break from concrete information here to provide an opinion. Perhaps, coming from a country like the US, where there are foreigners all around us and many of us don't have to trace too far back to get to when our families came to the country, it's easy to write this off as discrimination. And don't get me wrong, it is discrimination! But gosh, the cultural history is quite different here, and for now, I believe we just need to accept it for what it is. There are so many different cultural practices in Japan that I can see where Japanese landlords may have gotten burned in the past--for instance, people wearing shoes in the apartments, and the language barrier must make things so difficult. I am sure that when foreigners first started coming to live here, there were so many unspoken practices that seem so obvious a Japanese landlord may never have thought to tell their tenant, since it seems like common sense. So I choose not to feel offended by this denial. Change starts small, so I'll be the best tenant I can be, and change will gradually occur along with others doing the same. Now back to the real estate office.

Visiting apartments with the agent
Be upfront with them about questions and don't be afraid to ask. "Is it loud here?" for instance. And also be upfront if you don't like a place or something about it. There is a whole "politeness" culture here, but being direct helps not to waste anyone's time, it helps them to get to know what you like, and there's a possibility that they can address or fix what you have an issue with. This might just be Osaka, but we were also able to reduce the price of my apartment by talking to the agent (my host mom came with me to see apartments).

How's the quality of service?
The service is just incredible. Maybe it's because I was only looking at cheap places, but I found that the agents from the agencies I didn't end up going with didn't hound me. Refreshing. And yet, even though I was only looking at cheap places, I found that they were pretty attentive to me.

So let's say you've narrowed it down to one apartment you want.

Here's what you need
In many or most cases, I found that I needed my own Japanese phone number, though I imagine they would have accepted a close friend or host mother, someone with whom you're in frequent contact. With some companies, you need a Japanese bank account. The other thing real estate agencies often need is a guarantor. Depending on the company and the landlord or management company, you may not need a guarantor. I don't need one for mine. It will often say on the apartment ad. Please keep in mind that Japan is quite strict on this--if I'd needed a guarantor, my school would have signed for me, but if I had continued to live in Japan beyond finishing my classes, I would have needed to find another guarantor from that time. There was also discussion during my search of the fact that there are two types of guarantors. There's the one, like my school, who will sign for me, but it's basically just a signature--if something goes wrong and the landlord calls my school, they'd probably go, "Morgan who?" The other guarantor is the one who will pay for your ass if you screw something up, and is of course the more desirable option. Which one is accepted depends on the situation.

Once you decide on a place
I ended up using Century 21, which is pretty funny because I think it's an American company. After settling on a place, the agent will make some phone calls to make sure everything was in order--there is fire safety inspection, for instance--and then let you know when they have the go-ahead. I went into the office twice for paperwork. One day, I signed a bunch of things (be ready for paperwork. You may be asked for your hanko, a personalized stamp that acts as your signature here, but I was able to just sign--please ask if you'll need one before you begin the process), he made phone calls to set up my electricity and water to be ready when I moved in and made an appointment with the gas company to come in a convenient time for me on move-in day. A couple days later, I went in and paid the fee in cash (they do have some change, but exact change is better), and I received the key. That was it! I later received the finalized copy of the lease, which he had the management company, etc. sign, as well, in the mail. The agent is there to help you if you have any questions, of course; they are definitely sympathetic to foreigners not having any idea what the hell is going on.

Do not be afraid to ask questions to the agent, to your landlord, or to your management company. As I said above, a lot of things are simply common sense to the Japanese so you won't know until you ask. For instance, when I paid my first month's rent, no one explained to me what to do. I was given an account number, the name of the bank, and a location in unclear handwriting. I thought I'd be able to pay it at a convenience store like I paid my utilities. After hurriedly texting with my (Japanese) friend on the last day of the month (a Sunday no less) I found out that the bank is actually related to the post office, so I can pay it at the post office (which was closed) or at one of their ATMs. She searched to find where one is, but once we tried depositing the cash, it turns out I needed an account with them. No one thought to explain any of this to me! Don't let it make you feel alienated.

How to search for apartments
I recommend just Googling (in Japanese) "[name of city/neighborhood/area/landmark you want to live in] mansion," and browsing what comes up. Do know that multiple real estate agencies will be advertising the same apartment so they will be in competition for you. When you find someone you like, stick with them and don't let yourself be poached. I also recommend against submitting too many applications at one time for this reason--you will get overloaded.

I noted at the start of this post that I wrote it almost a month ago. In the next post, safety concerns when living alone in Japan!

What makes me special makes me alone? (culture shock)

I originally wrote this post November 24th, almost exactly three months into my stay in Japan. I thought it'd be interesting to post this and show a bit of my culture shock:

The USA is a pretty individual-centric country and culture, I think most would agree. I don't consider myself "a rebel," but since I was a kid, I consciously valued being "weird." I liked finding what was different about me and embracing that--by high school, I had created a solid style of fashion for myself with lots of wild prints and colors combined together in a way that I feel goes together (though some may disagree). I also went into the arts for my career, which is a great place to display what makes me different and special.

So it's interesting being in a country that is group-centric. Just from naturally mimicking people around me, and consciously trying to fit in so I don't stick out so much, I know I act differently here from how I normally do in the States. And yet, I can't do anything about the fact that I'm tall, blonde, blue-eyed--I swear, when I see myself reflected in mirrors in train stations, in pictures, etc., I seem to just reflect light. I am a beacon of white foreignness.

Walking to class today, I was struck by the thought that, by merely existing in this country, there's a lot that is inherently special about me. I mean, for the first time in my life, I am in a minority. Based on everything I said before, it seems like I would like this situation. But it's actually quite lonely.

Being different means that people don't know how to act around me. They don't know what to say or do, how to look at me, what languages I speak or don't. It means that a lot of glances slide past me and a lot of voices don't reach me. It can be pretty isolating.

What has been your experience visiting or living in a foreign country?

"Gaijin Hunters:" Who are they and how do I avoid them?

Some of you may have heard the term "gaijin hunter" (gaijin hantā or 外人ハンター) before. For those of you who haven't, gaijin, in Japanese, means "foreigner," so this term refers to someone who "hunts" or targets foreigners. I imagine Japan is not unique in this, but I'm not knowledgeable enough to know about instances in any other cultures, so I'm reporting from a purely Japanese standpoint.

I am not writing this to scare you, I am not writing this to make a broad statement about all Japanese people, and I am certainly not claiming that there are not people from my own country or elsewhere who act like this. However, these are real experiences I've had a significant number of times, so it is worth warning you so you don't get hurt or waste your time in or outside of Japan.

A gaijin hunter is simply a Japanese person who targets foreigners. The goals of these "hunters" are quite various, but they all commonly specifically seek out foreigners for one reason or another. I heard about these people well before I came to Japan. I was living in Los Angeles at the time, where there is a relatively large Japanese population, and I encountered many gaijin hunters there before I came to Japan (despite them being the foreigners). Since coming to Japan, I have come into contact with countless hunters, as well, so I can verify that this is a very real issue.

A gaijin hunter can be a man or a woman, and they can target men, women, or any foreigner regardless of gender--it really depends on their motive. Here are, in my experience, the three most common gaijin hunters.

"Foreigner as Fashion" Hunter
This type is one who collects foreigners because gaijin are currently very en vogue in Japan. Hanging out with foreigners implies to others that the hunter is worldly and probably speaks English or some other language. There are some of these FAF's at my school, where there are a lot of international students. They're easy to spot because no matter when you see them they're always surrounded by foreigners with no Japanese in sight. A tendency with this kind of hunter in particular, who collects foreigners to constitute a group (rather than individuals), you will probably find that they don't really pay attention to what you say or talk about anything incredibly personal with you. I had a friend get hunted by an FAF recently; my friend got invited to lunch and assumed it would just be the two of them, but when she arrived there were a bunch of other people at the table, and they were all foreigners. The hunter didn't speak much English, didn't introduce my friend to any of them, and the most conversation my friend had was the hunter making statements like, "This is my scarf," and "These are my earrings. Do you want to touch?" This girl clearly wanted to be seen surrounded by foreigners and didn't much care to interact with any of them individually.

"Foreigner for Fluency" Hunter
These hunters want to be around foreigners so they can get their English or other foreign language skills very good. This is one of the most common types in my experience. These hunters are very, very easy to pick out because if you speak Japanese to them, they will never or rarely respond to you in Japanese. I had a conversation partner in Los Angeles who was like this. I met him very early on in my studies when I couldn't carry on a conversation, so I didn't notice so much at first, but eventually his obstinance became very pronounced and I stopped seeing him. He reached out to me a few months later (in English, of course) and I wrote back that I was taking a language pledge for an immersion program to speak only Japanese for eight weeks and specifically told him to write back to me in Japanese, and he still wrote back in English. Unbelievable.

I'm not suggesting that there is some inherent obligation of the Japanese person to practice Japanese with you (if you're studying), but with FAF's there is a clear avoidance of using English (or whatever your language is, if they speak it). In the case of the guy I just mentioned, we met through a conversation exchange website. He was very concerned about advancing his English in order to maintain his visa to stay in the States, which is entirely understandable, but our entire relationship was predicated on language exchange, so that was selfish of him not to practice with me.

A note about the Foreign for Fluency hunter: it's happened to me a few times where this kind of hunter will speak or write to me in Japanese for the first few days, or weeks that we're in touch, but then they suddenly just stop using Japanese and never go back.

"Foreigner as Trophy Wife/Husband" or "Foreigner as Datable Object" Hunter
This is another very common hunter. Probably the easiest way to pick the FATW/H and FADO hunters is that they will bring up dating very early. This is a huge red flag and based on my experience is reason enough to move on. Other than that, I think you'll sense that they're not really talking to you; there's some kind of removed quality about them. I once had a FATW hunter tell me he "used to like black chicks up until last summer but now he likes white girls." That should be a pretty clear indicator (and that was in the States, btw)! This guy also found out about my YouTube channel and watched every single video, and he also lost it when I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, telling me he had a cold the day we met and I didn't get the right impression of him and so forth (we'd chatted back and forth for a week or two and met in person once). I recently had an experience here in Osaka with a guy who got connected with me through a mutual acquaintance because he was looking for an English teacher (no pay, just casual). I like teaching, I like meeting new people, and I guess I am ridiculously giving of my time, so I decided to give it a shot. I learned my lesson about sharing my YouTube channel, but this guy found and watched every single video I have posted on Facebook after we'd been connected (the videos are all quite old--I'd forgotten they were there). He was very pushy and impatient, calling me on Facebook Messenger and sending me messages all the time before we'd even met, and when we met the one time (why did I even bother), he brought up dating and I told him I was not interested. Yet, the next thing I know he's trying to make multiple plans very far in advance to drive me to Nara (over an hour's drive), baseball games, and so on, as well as suggesting we go to karaoke this weekend, which has nothing to do with me teaching him English.

All of the hunters have one trait in common that is easy to notice: they will approach you. The Japanese tend to be very shy, so it is seriously uncommon for one of them to just go up to a foreigner and start talking. I am not at all suggesting that every Japanese person who approaches you is a gaijin hunter, but be on your guard. Some Japanese people are just particularly outgoing or confident, or they may have lived abroad or grown up around foreigners. People in the Kansai region also tend to be pretty friendly, so don't assume that anyone who strikes up a conversation with you is a hunter--just watch for red flags. The Foreigner for Fluency hunter is the easiest one to spot very early on if you're studying and confident enough to converse; it becomes clear very quickly, so I just make a mental note not to waste my time with them.

There are other kinds of hunters, to be sure, but these are probably the three most common. There can be overlap, and some hunters can be all three of these.

Being a hunter does not make someone an inherently bad person, but it does reflect their self-centered motives, and using foreigners in this way is discrimination. Using anyone, period, is already bad enough but using behavior that is markedly different from how you act with your fellow nationals when you're around people of a certain race or nationality is wrong.

The good news is that I have never felt that my safety was at risk--particularly with the hunters who are trying to date foreigners, I've never been pressured to go somewhere or do something with them.

Studying a foreign language and being interested in a culture or a place is great, but it can be easy to idealize that place and everything (and everyone) in it. I am not sharing this information with you to corrupt your idea of Japan or imply that everyone here is evil and you should be scared. However, I think the best of people by nature and have tended in the past to give chances over and over for people to prove me wrong. I didn't want to believe that people were trying to use me, but I have had innumerable encounters with these hunters. I am sharing this in the hopes of educating you and saving you a lot of wasted hours with people who aren't worth your time. Thank you for reading. Till next time!

Japanese "In Groups" and "Out Groups"

If you've studied Japan much, you've probably read about or gotten a sense of the Japanese concept of "in groups" and "out groups." One's "in group" can be one's family, one's social circle, members of one's company, or even one's country--it really depends on the context. It follows, of course, that the "out group" is made up of anyone who doesn't fall into the "in group" one's discussing at the time.

This all seems pretty readily understandable. These groups determine with whom you share your actual opinion, how much of yourself you reveal, and it also changes your level of formality or how aloof you appear.

I thought I had a decent understanding of this concept. And then I started shopping.

In stores here, even in relatively small ones, if there are departments, employees are assigned to one, and they do not intermingle. I used to work for a grocery store where everyone did everything: in a given shift, we'd stock shelves, unpack shipments, work on the register, help out in the flower section, etc. Basically the complete opposite. And here's how I came to understand this:

I'd ask an employee who'd be near to the department where the product I had a question about or was looking for was--they'd be standing on the other side of a walkway between some shelves--and they wouldn't know a thing about it. They wouldn't know where it might be, they wouldn't know what brands they might have, nothing. This is also the case at my school--it's like that idiom, the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, has come alive. One department has absolutely no idea what is going on at another. And this is even in the office that is dedicated to helping foreigners' times at the school go smoothly. They don't know if the career center can help me, they don't know what cafeterias are open, I have no choice but to go out on myself to individual areas of campus and find the answers.

Another example of this concept's integration into daily life here is the sheer amount of divisions they have for geographical areas. In the States, we'll have a library system for a given city or geographical area and then branches for various neighborhoods, but they all are part of the same library. Here, instead of having an Osaka library system, there are dozens of libraries all completely independent of each other that do not trade books back and forth or look anything remotely like what we have in the States. Also, my host family does not make it out of their neighborhood very often. They have a community center and the girls' schools here, their grocery store close by, all their friends live within a few blocks, and that my host dad's parents live a 20 minute drive away is considered far, so we only saw them about once a month, as opposed to my host mom's parents whom we saw about every week.

It is definitely different from the environment in which I was raised. A very key concept, and helps one to understand a great deal about Japanese culture, so please look into it! What is the culture like where you're from? Is it one large community, or many small? Is it as clearly divided as Japan? Let me know in the comments!

Am I a hypocrite? Why is everyone else so much BETTER THAN ME??

I recently wrote about not comparing yourself to others and about being in the highest level Japanese my campus offers. I said in the latter post that I'm intimidated by my classmates at the same level. In only our second class, I found myself panicking, wondering if I really belong in this level and how everyone is so much better than me, how they understand and know so many more words than me, and how they can speak so much better and more naturally than me.

And then I realized I'm being a complete hypocrite. I'm not practicing what I preach. One thing is that I spent most of the month-long winter break not speaking Japanese, certainly not conversationally anyway, and instead speaking English all day every for three weeks while my mom and step-dad were in the country. The other factor is that, since I came home from the vacation two days before the semester started, I have not slept well. This will be continued in a post about living alone in Japan, but my upstairs neighbor has been a serious nuisance and kept me from sleeping through the night once in the last three weeks or so, so I'm a little addled on coffee and not thinking too clearly.

Yet another factor that makes some of my classmates intimidating is that three of my classmates were in the same level last semester (it's required to take Japanese, so they're taking it again). So, though we're now at the same level, some of us have been studying at this level longer than others. Surprisingly, I am one of two Americans, and one of three Western people--the other five are from either Hong Kong or China, so I do have to allow for some advantages they have with kanji.

Anyway, I guess it just goes to show that what a person teaches best is often what they're worst at. It's important to keep things in perspective, yet also remember we're human and deviate from what we know to be a good way of thinking. Good luck in your studies!